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When I was growing-up, my favorite game to play was Make-Believe. The more elaborate the story, the better. I could get lost for hours playing as pirates, Peter Pan, dragons, wizards, or any other measure of fantastical beings. As one can imagine, Halloween was and still is my favorite holiday, and of course I was a theater-kid during my school years.
It’s no wonder I would grow up to be someone who makes up stories for a living. Whether I’m guiding my PEP Lovers through a fantasy in a call, filming a fetish video, drawing a comic or making a new cosplay creature, I’m essentially still playing Make-Believe every day, albeit in a more “adult” format.
That’s how I like to think of kink and fetish—it’s a grown-up version of the pretend games we liked to play when we were younger. I’ve explored fantasies where I play a strict mother with a naughty, misbehaving boy over my knee; I scold him between swats of a hairbrush, make him apologize, and clean his mouth out with soap. How is this any different from Make-Believe, other than its erotic undertone and thus mature themes?
In a scene or fantasy, we give our imagination time to flex. In this narrative nexus we can expand the tendrils of our creativity in ways we don’t always get to do in our everyday existence, in an environment that is safe and understanding. As in the spanking scenario I mentioned, I can give my PEP Lover the humiliation that he craves, and in the end (pun intended), he knows it is all pretend.
We live in a world that rarely rewards us for being different, and that’s awfully quick to label whimsical pleasures as “immature.” Sure, maybe they are. But who we are in our leisure time is not necessarily who we are in our working time. And just because we may indulge in silly fantasies in our personal time, doing so does not render us incompetent on more mature, adult matters in the rest of our lives.
I argue that allowing ourselves some youthful fancy actually gives us the ability to be more well-rounded and responsible adults. I don’t think we ever outgrow the need to play Make-Believe, we simply convince ourselves that it’s inappropriate for adults to do it. We repress that desire, hide it away, and then wonder why we’re all so stressed and burned out most of the time.
When we become adults is when we need the spirit of play the most. As the weighted responsibilities of an unforgiving world bear down upon us, the escapism of Make-Believe allows us little snippets of freedom. Whether you’re pretending to be a tough cowboy, or imagining yourself under an (even-tougher) cowgirl’s heel, allowing our imaginations time to explore is liberating. As I often say to my PEP Callers: “That is the beauty of fantasy. We can go anywhere you like. We can be anyone you like. No, it’s not real, but it can be as real as you want in your own mind.”
I am reminded of a line from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Cinderella.” In Cinderella’s song “My Own Little Corner” the chorus line goes:
“In my own little corner
In my own little chair
I can be whatever I want to be
On the wing of my fancy
I can fly anywhere
And the world will open its arms to me.”
I consider myself fortunate that I am able to live out my youthful career ambitions. In some way, shape, or form, I am doing virtually everything I said I wanted to do when I was growing up: I’m an actress, a film director, a writer, and a comic artist. Through these avenues I have been able to be so much more as well. Who knew that I would one day get to be a mad scientist, a nurse, a demon, SO MANY monsters, quite a few fairies, and so on?
In the coming years, I am excited to see what other characters I will play and what other strange and fantastic stories I’ll get to be a part of. I want to inspire playtime and fun in you, too. There’s nothing wrong with escaping reality for a little while as you take a mental vacation to your naughtiest fantasy. When’s the last time, PEP Lover, that you allowed yourself the luxury of daydreaming just for the fun of it?
I want us to explore dark and scary dungeons together, or make love in a tropical cabana. Perhaps we can be scandalous lovers, or girlfriends, or even aliens. I want to see you kneeling before me in latex, or leather, or bare ass naked. Maybe we can be something beautiful and ethereal like princesses or mermaids, or maybe we can be something mysterious and macabre like goblins or witches.
Whichever way your fantasies take you, I hope that you’ll share some of them with me. I hope you’ll daydream, explore, and tell me where your foray into Make-Believe took you. I hope you’ll invite me to play Make-Believe with you. And if you’re ever curious about my fantasy adventures, know that all you must do is ask, and I’ll share them with you.